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New Wearable Tracks Calories Burned While Gossiping

Move over, step counters—there’s a new gadget in town, and it’s juicier than your average fitness tracker. Introducing TeaFit, the first wearable...

Forget the Gym: Experts Say Running Late to Work Is the Perfect Cardio

In a major breakthrough for fitness enthusiasts and procrastinators alike, health experts have declared that running late to work provides all the...

Doctors Discover New Symptom of Burnout: Being Conscious

In a groundbreaking medical revelation, doctors have identified a new, unmistakable symptom of burnout: simply being awake. The finding, announced at...

Local Man Goes Entire Day Without Mentioning His Keto Diet, Friends in Shock

In what experts are calling a “miracle of modern restraint,” local man Todd Brinker reportedly went an entire day without mentioning his keto diet...

Breakthrough Diet: Burn Calories by Arguing with Strangers Online

Move over, keto and intermittent fasting—there’s a new weight-loss trend sweeping the digital age: the “Argument Burn Diet.” According to researchers...

The Drive-Thru Breakdown: Why Crying in Your Car Is 2024’s Top Self-Care Trend

Doctors Recommend ‘Crying in Your Car’ as the Hottest Stress Management Technique of 2024 In a groundbreaking shift in mental health advice, doctors...

New Study Finds 8 Hours of Sleep Totally Optional if You Drink Enough Matcha

In groundbreaking news that has wellness influencers doing celebratory yoga, a new “study” claims that the health benefits of matcha tea...

Heating or Eating? Experts Suggest Embracing Both as a ‘Luxury’ in the New Normal

“High Energy Prices Are the ‘New Normal,’ Experts Confirm—Because Who Doesn’t Love Paying More?” In a shocking revelation that absolutely...

Starmer’s ‘Strong UK-China Ties’ Plan: Diplomacy or Delusion?

“We Want ‘Strong’ UK-China Relationship, Says Starmer, as Experts Translate ‘Strong’ to Mean ‘Awkwardly...